First off, John slyly changes "them" to "damn" in the lyric contest, entices me into the quiz by mentioning my name in the announcement, and then has me up all night trying to work out what 1960's song could possibly have contained a terrible word like "damn".

And when my remaining hair has been torn out - he simply smiles innocently, and says "Oops, sorry - I meant "them", not "damn".

And when I (like a fool), take the bait and come back with my own quiz, and make him an offer he can't refuse (well, an offer he cannot get out of - namely one performance of me singing if he gets it right - or two if he gets it wrong), what does he do?

He just smiles sweetly, and says - "I give up" - robbing me of my chance to break into the US market with my dulcet tones.

Well it ain't over till the fat laddie sings, and sing I will.

The answer, (as John well knew), was that finding they could not get airplay as Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme during the 1970's, the duo issued a record in 1979 under the name Parker & Penny titled "Hallelujah" which was moving up the Adult Contemporary charts when some spoilsport leaked that Parker & Penny were actually Steve & Eydie, and DJs promptly dropped the record off the playlists.

Anyway, I knew that no song in the early 1960's would contain "damn".

I mean, when Johnny Horton's "Battle Of New Orleans" came out in the UK, the BBC would not play it because it contained that terrible line "And we caught the bloody British near the town of New Orleans".

Luckily, Pye Records persuaded Lonnie Donegan to re-record the song with the far more tasteful line "And we caught the ruddy British near the town of New Orleans", and he went on to have the hit.

And rightly so. Cannot have words like "bloody" being bandied about the airwaves.

As for John's "oops, I thought Eydie was saying damn when she was really saying them" explanation - that's like the kid who thought Bob Dylan was an entomologist with lines like "The ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind, The ants are a-blowin' in the wind".

And now, stand back America - I am going to sing, and if the wind is blowing the right way tonight, are you in for a treat!

• RE: TRIVIA - Match Lyrics To Song Title - John 04/18/2007 12:29:50 EDT (0)